Week 5: The Call

Dear Everyone,

The past few days have been exhausting, scary, but also exciting. As camp ended and I was gifted with some time to process what exactly has gone on over the past 4 weeks, I've been convicted; I have had this passion for missions placed on my heart for a reason, and I need to act on it. Even when I was little, missions week was always my favorite week of the year at church(yes, better than Christmas...), and during middle school and through early high school I was pretty fully convinced that at some point in my future, I'd be living overseas. But as I got older, I think I convinced that it just wasn't "reasonable" to live overseas, it's just too "out there." But this trip has taken that passion for missions that sort of been simmering in the background throughout most of my life, and ignited it into a flame. I have been gifted with a heart for missions and crafted with a heart that cares deeply for those around me, but I need to act on it! So as I come home to the States, I know it will be very hard for me to be in the States, while also trying to sort out the Lord's call for my life. I know there will probably be a bit of confusion, anger, or bitterness at the fact that I do have to go back to the States. But more than anything, I have been and will continue to have so, SO many questions bouncing around in my head that only the Lord can answer. Where am I being called to go? How? Who? What is the next step in life? What would missions look like at a school in the States? This next stage of my life will be a scary one because it will be one of the only times in my life that I genuinely don't have a plan. I don't know where to go from here. All I know is that the Lord has called me to something, and I'd be a fool to continue to ignore it. So if you see me in the states, and feel the need to ask "What's next?" The short answer is that I genuinely don't know. I'm figuring it out. If I don't seem like I'm content being the States, you're right I'm not. I feel like I'm being called to something, bigger and better than I could even imagine. I just don't know what. So no, I will not be content to sink back into my comfort zone, because I'm called to something more. If you would join me in prayer over the next few months about this, I would greatly appreciate it!

<3 Rose

Week 4-BABIES!

Dear everyone,

Week 4 means that we got a whole new batch of kids on Monday, YAY! This camp has been super interesting because normally the ages range from about 6-14, and this camp we have a ton of 6 and 7 year olds, and the oldest kid who isn't the directors daughter is 11. So that's been fun, they definitely have quite a bit more energy than our last group of kids, and they (at times) can be more lovey and dependant on the teachers to play things. For instance, as I was preparing my room for the next activity one day, I turned around and found a tiny six year old boy waiting at my door, I walked over to him and he asked "Basketball?" My heart actually melted. But this week also hasn't been as flawless as I paint it, because this camp is so young, I have had to lesson plan, and re-lesson plan, and assess and re-assess all week long. Currently my music class is 2 days ahead of where we should be, and my language class is a day and a half behind, so my brain is just everywhere right now. I've been really learning through this week is that kids are never EVER going to be predictable or "one size fits all", it's part of the magic of teaching. This week has been all about me learning to have grace with the kids as they struggle to learn this silly little thing called English, but also to have grace with myself, when a tunisian assisstant needs to translate, when I need to explain the same thing 5 times to finally get some understanding from the kids, or when a kid decides he just wants to shut down and stop participating all together. It's about meeting the kids in the place that they're at. If you don't get done what you had planned, that is OKAY. That's going to happen when you are dealing with tiny humans and big emotions. So do I know what this week will look like? Hopefully yes, but if not I have two whole planning periods each day to get my language club figured out. When push comes to shove, my final goal is to be able to help my students to learn even a little bit more English than they knew before coming to camp. My kids are individuals, not to be judged against another, and I just need to be okay with that. Stay tuned for how this week ends with these sweet kiddos!

<3 Rose

Week 3-Half way?

Dear Friends,

This weeks marks us being in Tunisia for 3 weeks! This means two things; first, we are officially half way through our time here(which frankly makes me want cry...), and second on this past Friday, we finished our first two week session of camp. The fact that camp 1 is done is honestly a bit of a relief. Over the past two weeks, we have had 6 different teachers or assistants get sick and be physically unable to teach, including me and both of my roommates, which I'm told has never happened in the history of this camp. Amidst all my sickness, I have found myself becoming more and more discontent, frustrated, and confused. Here I am; trying to teach and having to run out of the room and get sick, and then come back and continue like nothing happened, how could this be the Lord's plan for my summer? How can I bless anyone in the state that I'm in? If you know me well, you know that I am two things; stubborn, and a perfectionist. I hold myself to a very high standard, and it's for me to accept anything less, so with each sick day, each time I had to run out of the room to get sick, every time I had to stay inside from recess because I was so dizzy I couldn't see straight, I became more and more unhappy with myself, and felt more and more guilty. If we're being honest, I found myself feeling like I hadn't done my students justice, because I just physically couldn't give as much of me as I would have liked to. I just felt so inadequate, confused, and frustrated with my situation. All of these complex emotions continued to build up and I found myself sitting on the bathroom floor of the club on Friday night after getting sick again, and just weeping. Genuinely just wondering how on earth this could be God's plan for my summer, and wondering what on Earth was going on with my body. As I talked later with my trip leader about everything, there were good conversations, lots of tears, lots of prayers, but I left feeling like even though I'm still trying to sort out why I'm here, and working on finding my identity in the Lord, and not in my constant need for perfection, I know the Lord is still good, and is walking with me through this next week, and the next camp. 

<3 Always,

Rose

Week 2: HERE COME THE KIDS!!!!!

Dear Everybody,

If you couldn't tell from the title, this has been the week that I've been praying about, looking forward to, and planning for since I found out I was going on this trip. This week was our FIRST WEEK OF SUMMER CAMP 2019!!! WOOP WOOP!!!! I anxiously looked over and prayed over each of my 12 students that I would be teaching English to, and when Monday came, I think I was just as excited as the kids were. This week has been so stretching in so many ways. Most of my students speak very little English, and if they do speak English, they don't want to do it out loud because they don't want to mess up. So most definitely the biggest challenge has been communication thus far, and competing with those stubborn students who just refuse to speak English. But even on day 3 of camp, one of the french speaking students tried to ask me a question in French, and I just looked at her and said "English please!" So she went back to her friend and asked her in french how to say what she wanted to say in English, and then came back to me and asked in English. In that moment, I realized how much I love these kids, and how much they are beginning to impact me and the way that I teach. I know just thinking about it now, it's going to be hard to let them go on Friday. 

Just when I thought I was starting to get into some sort of a rhythm with camp, I got hit HARD Thursday morning with fevers, head congestion, and chest congestion(probably a sinus infection, but we're not 100% sure), that had me pretty much out of commission Thursday afternoon through Saturday afternoon. Luckily I was able to get in with our host families doctor who has prescribed me some antibiotics, cough syrup, nasal spray, etc. so now I'm feeling quite a bit better. I think one thing the Lord has been teaching me through everything this week is that I'm not going to always be in control, I can't control the languages my kids prefer to speak in, I can't control what my body decides to do, but I CAN put my trust in the one who IS in control, and who loves these kids so much more than I could ever even imagine. 

Here a few pictures from the past week: 

This was a gorgeous sunset the other night from the roof of our apartment. 

Standing on top of the roof of our school, one of my favorite places to go on break. 

Some of my sweet students working hard! 

Working on drawing things we see with our eyes. 

The swings were a popular thing to draw ;) 

Here are 5 ways you can pray for us this week:

1. For continuing healing of my body, as well as a restored energy!

2. For the relationships that the American team is working hard to build with our Tunisian teaching assistants.

3. For students who may be a little hesistant to speak during our presentation for the parents on Friday.

4. For the country of Tunisia as a whole, there was another bombing on Wednesday night. 

5. For patience for me as I attempt to communicate with my french speaking students.

<3 Always,

Rose